"Big Girls Don't Cry"

Oh yes they DO! Ok...so last night we had our good friends over for dinner. As a working mom I didn't really have much time to prepare so I went to the store bought 2 pizzas and red wine. Mad at me yet? Look, this is life and there is going to be bad food around! We might as well get use to it! I served salad as well and YES that is all I ate. I ATE SALAD. I probably could have cut out a glass of wine but I am pretty proud of myself for saying no to pizza. Guess what else I said no to... CHOCOLATE ECLARES! That's right...our guests brought desert. I didn't indulge for one reason...I am not to my goal weight yet and even if I was I would have only had a bite or two. Ok...deep breath...so I survived a little battle last night. BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I am simulating and explosion in your face so you can get a taste of how I felt. My cousins baby shower was tonight! Between, the chocolate covered delights and the sugar crusted bites, I thought I was going to break. THE CRAVINGS ARE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!! I totally thought they were gone! HA! Joke's on me! It was like they were peeking around the corner staring at me and hoping I would just give in for one measley little evening out! Thanks to my now over 100 readers I had EACH OF YOU right there with me keeping me accountable. Thank you Jesus for this gift. I truly am honored and priviledged to be held to a higher standard and actually stand for something bigger than myself! I am so encouraged and excited. I stayed strong and actually was able to disucss my blog with some local talent. 110, 120, 122 pounds of babe surrounding me as I so bodly began to blurt out my 226 pound weight. Refreshing? Yes. Embarrassing? Yes. Neccessarry? YES. I need this. I want this. I have got to do this. As Queen sings so perfectly, "Under Pressure." I am feeling the pressure but I need it and I thank the Lord for giving me the desires of my heart. By the way I am now 217 pounds. 9 Pounds gone! On an ending note...I would like to take a second to thank all the emails and facebook messages. I am so blessed by your words. I am sorry for not responding with more lengthy replies but that is only so I can have energy and words left for the blog. Please Please Please keep the kind words coming. I am so happy that you are being encouraged and that you are taking action with me. I am also so proud of the few amazing people emailing me their daily food logs. We are in this together!
Blessings on you all! Pray for me please. I am REALLY wanting to binge right now. It doesn't make sense because I really am feeling strong but that strength/deamon is telling me I deserve to pig out. I am fighting it and I will succeed with God's help.