226.6 Pounds?

In the sixth grade I had a growth spurt and weighed 160 pounds at 5'8 tall. Little did I know that almost 2 decades later that would be my ultimate goal weight. Each year I would slowly start packing on the pounds. It was always a roller coaster however. Binging, starving myself, the grapefruit diet, joining weight watchers only to quit and then join again probably 10 times total...I could go on and on. I would lose weight-gain weight, lose weight-gain weight. But, every time I would be in the gaining phase I would end up a couple of pounds heavier from where I started! Dieting was teaching me that DIETS DON'T WORK. Twice in my life I reached my goal weight and managed to become a size 8! The more than perfect size for my height and body frame. A size 10 would make me the happiest girl in the world. Or would it? It's not about REACHING the desired goal weight or size...It is about KEEPING IT OFF! I am a pro at this game. I know how to diet but I do not know how to LIVE. LIVE my life without a diet? Live my life without binge eating? What else is there to do? The answer is LIVE. Live my life with my beautiful son. Live my life with my precious husband. It is time to live my life. LIFESTYLE. I want to make this time around a lifestyle not an adventure. I want to really do this forever and be healthy. I want to eat less and eat healthier. I want to be physically active and enjoy being outside. I want to feel great and look great. I want to feel lighter. I want to be 170 pounds. 56 Pounds to lose in six months. 170 pounds to maintain for the next 50 years. Which seems harder to you?