7 Months Pregnant

Back from the dead. Let me start by saying around my last blog entry back in February, my morning sickness began. I do not want to complain because I am so excited and grateful to be expecting another precious baby boy. However, it is hard to ignore the fact that I have never in my life experience so much consistant pain and sickness. To say that I was and still am completley miserable is the biggest understatement. I love being upbeat and positive. I love smiling and being happy. I live to laugh. I truly am one of those life-loving people. So who am I right now?? Not quite sure. I feel like a different person. Like right now for example, I am sitting on the couch trying not to think about the fact that I am so nauseous or the fact that it feels like a knife is being twisted into my left ear. My ear hurts so bad and I can not hear out of it. For the past 5 nights I wake up every 3 hours crying and putting in my ear drops and taking my tyleonol. Last night, Mike decided to sleep in the guest room so at least one of us could get some rest. I have 3 months to go and that is when I start to feel depressed. That seems so far away! Not to mention, I have been through this rodeo before and I know how hard it is once the baby actually arrives. So yeah, I feel pretty hopeless and scared out of my mind. I am clinging to my God and taking it one day at a time. That really is all I can do. I am trying to have a good attitude and make light of all my handicaps, but now that I am sitting alone and typing in silence, I can not help but just let it all out. Speaking of letting it all out...I AM HUGE. I feel so fat and ugly. My face is in rare form and nothing fits. Even if it did fit, I would be too hot to put it on. I turned 30 last week and I am going to dinner this week with some friends to celebrate. I can not help but be totally consumed with anxiety because I have nothing to wear. I keep telling myself, "It's OK you are pregnant. No one expects you to look that great." But it is so hard for me right now for some reason. I want to look good and feel good and I just don't. I do not want to live in self pity or continue this bad attitude. I want things to change. After 7 months, you would think things would be getting better by now, but unfortunately that is not the case. So my plan is to breath deep and take it one hour at a time. I apologize for sounding so negative!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it! I do, however, feel it necessarry to get it out and be honest with myself. This is a blog about lifestyle and I want to do it, good days and bad.

Memories

My first memory of food...let's see...............

Dinosaur soup. I was in the first grade at St. Paul's and we were studying Dinosaurs. As a class we made a huge pot of soup. The big red tomatoes were the bloody Dino's eyes, the kidney beans were the kidneys, I guess, the corn was something important and I am sure there was a lot more but I will never forget how amazing that soup was. I have tried to recreate it several times in the last 25 years and have never quite gotten it right. The weird thing is, I hate soup! I mean, I will eat it if it is put in front of me, and I usually am very pleased. However, the thought of it is so boring to me.

Now that I am being healthy I may try it again.

Get Up and Get Out!

"Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming..." I feel like Dori from Finding Nemo. I am always trying to "Just keep swimming" or in a more literal sense, just keep MOVING! I could have easily just played around the house with Carter this morning. We could have watched Disney movies and lounged around. I could have just kept on cleaning up the house while he starred into the TV, but I chose NOT to do that. It was a choice. I got into the car and we went to the park at 10 am. Instead of parkin' it on the bench I joined in on the fun. I used this as an opportunity to burn some calories.

I was running around, climbing up the slide the wrong way, up and down the rock wall, playing on the swings, and squeezed into the little bouncy car the rocks back and forth. Yes, I was THAT parent.

We played for only 30 minutes, but that 30 minutes was great quality time with my child and it burned at least 100 calories. An added bonus was that it wore him out and he was down for a nap at 11:30!

So get up and get out! Your kids and your thighs are waiting.

(Any other flexible schedule parents around Midtown that would like to join? It would have been safer with more people. Please let me know!)

Fools Rush In

You know that feeling in the morning when your like, "I am not hungry. I do not want to eat. I think I will just have some coffee and go. Wow I am so skinny for not needing breakfast!." These are thoughts are lies lies lies!!!

I am so sorry to be the one to say this, but stop being such an IDIOT!!! Point blank: If you skip breakfast, you will NEVER lose weight. So many fat people think they are doing so great when they tell me, "I didn't have anything to eat today until lunch!" I want to say, "Well, good for you! You have officially tricked your body into thinking you are starving and to STORE FAT!"

So many of us by into diet pills. Diet pills usually promise to boost, or speed up, your metabolism. Friend, listen to me carefully when I say this...the best way to boost, or speed up, your metabolism is to simply eat something right when you wake up!!

When you have been sleeping for over 4 hours, your stomach becomes empty. You brain is so smart and incredibly efficient. Let's just say, if we ever end up on a deserted island, the body knows just what to do. It will kick into survival mode and store your fat!

When you put food in your mouth in the morning, picture yourself through a coal on the fire. This coal keeps the fire going and at a steady pace. We are not throwing 10logs on it to make it blaze out of control, just a enough to keep it going. You do NOT want that fire to go out. We want it to continue burning fat and NOT think we are starving on a deserted island.

This morning I was nauseous at the thought of eating anything. I was completely satisfied with my coffee and wanted to exit the kitchen. I knew that if I did this, my body would not start burning the fat off my thighs. I got out the skillet and had two eggs sunny side up. I sat down and took a bite that I felt like I did not "need".

It does not impress me, your friends, or your body when you skip breakfast. It actually makes you look like a big dumb idiot. Ignorant in the food department. I was there and didn't realize how important this was! I am begging you to eat breakfast no matter how you feel.

Food Ideas:
Oatmeal
Eggs
Jimmy Dean Egg, Sausage and Cheese Delights
Fruit

I eat eggs and whole wheat toast or a Jimmy Dean with every day. I always have a side of fruit. You should look forward to breakfast! It is the biggest meal we get! If you really want to lose this weight.

Tonight go ahead and decide what you are going to have in the morning so you don't have to think too hard about it.

BREAKFAST IS FOR WINNERS!

Weigh-In Day=SCARY

Today is Thursday which means one thing....WEIGH DAY! If you read my previous post you are aware of my fear of getting on the scale today. I had 3 pretty bad evenings this week in regards to food. HOWEVER, I had 6 intense work out days, and 4 really good days on my diet.

Last week I was 201. I was hoping that this week i would drop below the 200's and into the dusty 100's!! This morning I woke up and prayed, "Lord please help me to not be discouraged when I see this number." Than the number 205 popped in my head. This was my prediction for this mornings way in.

I was tempted to skip the weigh in all together and just really try hard this week. I wanted to do this to protect myself from getting discouraged. Then I remembered...It is OK. I am not perfect. It is not over if I gain this week. I do not have to beat myself up if I gain.

200. I LOST A POUND! No, I did not get down into the 100's, but I did in fact lose this week! 200 EVEN! I am so proud of myself and I am VERY happy with that number. I am one step closer to my goal!!!

Recap: Goal Weight= 170lbs

30 more to go!!!

Oops...

Wow...that is the 5th day this week that I have taken a mid-day nap for over 2 hours! I have been so exhausted. The only things I have done differently have been joining my awesome new gym (Phoenix Fitness) and I went back to work (2 half days a week). Those are two really big changes now that I see them in writing! NO WONDER!

I feel like I am not going to lost weight this week. I feel great and very sore from working out but I also feel like I need to share something else. I am feeling very guilty and quite ridiculous. The last 3 days for no apparent reason, I have had Carter's left over scrapps at dinner, my own dinner with wine, and to top it off, 3 scoops of vanilla ice cream with frozen fruit on top. I have 107 different excuses for each of those actions but I will not waste yours or my time.

It is a scary thought for me fo some reason to get below the 200's. I want it SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad though! I am at a loss of words. I need help.

I found some words! I know what I need to do and here is what it is. KEEP GOING! I will plan my dinners better and give the dog Carter's scraps. I won't have things in the house that will tempt me and if I do, I will practice self-control. I forgive and love myself and I know that I can do this. Lord, please give me the strength today and tonight to honor my body and my commitment.

??????

Writer's Block.