CALLING ALL PEOPLE-PLEASERS!!!

Aiming to please everyone leads me to only failing myself. I am so sick and tired of tip toeing around to try and keep the peace. It seems that in trying to keep the peace and treating everyone like freaking precious Prince Harry has only given these oh-so-ungrateful pleasing-takers the power to stomp all over me. In aiming to please everyone around me, which is impossible to do, I am led to the following thoughts. "Screw em', lets enjoy some wine tonight"...or "I deserve a break, lets splurge and order Papa Johns! Extra Garlic"...or maybe even thoughts like "I am a failure and don't feel like I can do anything...I have no drive to cook for my family...I just want to stand in the kitchen and eat whatever I want...and then i want to lay on the couch watching reality TV and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist...except Kim K, of course." These thoughts are not a part of me anymore. I REFUSE to turn to food as if it were some soft field of forget-me-nots about to change my life. All it is, is a chance to run away for a minute or two...run from all the pain that we don't want to deal with and into the arms a big, fat, sweaty, lard called...REALITY. Tonight I DEALT with the pain. I took heart and had the courage to sit and feel the ouch-factor of my feelings being hurt. No...It did NOT feel good. It really sucked to be honest. I didn't like hearing the truth in my own head or from the person from whom I sought counsel. But I did it because I DON'T WANT TO BE FAT ANYMORE. I don't want to be such a weakling who can't even deal with emotions. IN FACT...I don't want to try and please everyone out of the fear that they will get upset and I won't know how to handle the fact they are looking at me weird. I am in control. YOU are in control. I don't need to numb myself any longer. I am a "big girl" and I can handle this.