I am a runner. I am running between 2-4 miles a day. I have even had an occational 5-6 mile jog/walk these last few weeks. The wind on my face and the long strides of my legs feels so good. I am at a standstill with my weight but KEEPING OFF these 22 pounds lost. I have gone from a size 18 to a 12. I can not believe it. I have learned so much about eating. When, what, where, how (not who) to eat. I am also learning how to indulge without beating myself up with guilt. I am staying calm and carrying on. This is life and I am finally happy. Thank you Lord for answering this prayer. I still have a ways to go but I am encouraged because I don't feel like throwing in the towel due to starvation or exaughstion. I am completely content and satified and ENERGIZED! AND...I feel so cute in my hot little skinny jeans and sexy sparkly shirts. I've never felt worthy of wearing such cute things and quite frankly didn't want to draw any attention to myself. I knew what they were all thinking..."Why doesn't she stop eating so much". Or at least that was my paranoia.
REMEMBER:
Eat every 2-3 hours
By the end of the day you should have had 6-7 small meals
These small meals need to be HEALTHY!
High protein!!! The "snack meals" that come in between b'fast, lunch and dinner should be only around 100 calories. Breakfast is my favorite because this is your biggest meal! I have a Jimmy Dean Sausage Egg and Cheese Breakfast Muffin, Fruit and coffee. I LOVE IT! And I really look forward to it. ( I try and have oatmeal for b fast like 2 times a week because no matter how addicted you get to a great meal, you MUST mix it up!!!!)
What are snack meals? Well this is how it works...
Bfast (Larger meal)6am
"Snack meal" 9am (Kashi Bar with 1 tbsp Peanut butter or Allmond butter
Lunch Noon Half wheat pita bread stuffed with turkey, veggies, feta, mustard
2pm "snack meal" String cheese and turkey
5pm "snack meal" Veggies and Hummas (or Melba Toast and Laughing Cow cheese)
7pm Dinner Chicken or fish with veggies (salad and or beans)
Maybe a Light Beer with dinner (You can have red wine but i can not because I can't control myself! I drink too much and want more food when I drink the vino. :(
NO MORE FOOD AFTER THIS!!!
If you say to yourself, " I am still satisfied from b'fast and don't need a "snack meal"...wow I am sooooooooooooo good and skinny!!!" YOU ARE WRONG!!!! You just THINK you don't need it! Trust me. I'm the one who has lost 22 pounds in 10 weeks!
Love you :) High Five.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Is this really who I was???
8 weeks ago I was a binge eater. I really can't believe the things I use to do. It shocks me and disgusts me to think of my past favorite thing to do. I thought I was so free and independent. I thought everyone else did it and I was just always going to be this way. I found comfort in looking in the mirror and telling myself, "It's OK. You have a nice looking face, big boobs, pretty hair, and a great personality. Besides that, you have a man who adores you and a precious son who loves me too." I would say these types of things to myself just to stay in survival mode. I literally did not think I could ever lose weight. So thinking back to what I use to love doing when no one was around...here goes...
"Alone in the house. My child is tucked in his crib, safe and warm. My husband has just left for the gym and won't be home for 2 hours. My cat and dog have been fed and are snuggles up and satisfied. My dishes are done. I've taken my bath and even shaved my legs. My floors are clean and I had a great day in sales today. Oh, before I get to comfortable, I better start another load of laundry so I can really feel good about myself. I am so productive. I am such an amazing mom. I am an OK wife but I am learning and trying to do it better. I'm a great friend. Deep breath in.....Life feels good right now and I deserve some me time now. No one is around and I am free. I can do whatever I want. Everyone sucks me dry and I have nothing left to give. Why does everyone think they can walk all over me and chirp chirp chirp like a bunch of baby birds depending on ME for everything. I deserve to be pampered and loved on too! This hurts. I feel like the victim. I feel like I am not getting MY share of the fortune. ME ME ME! HA! I'll show them! Clunk clunk clunk I go into the kitchen. Hmmm...to start how about 2 strawberry Nutrigrain Bars and some 2% milk. Poof! It's gone. What else can I find in here...aw crap there is some Nestle Quick, I should have had that in my milk! Well, I still can, I'll just have another cereal bar. This time I'll have a chocolate chip granola bar. Oops, there's still some milk left and its so good with every bite so I should just have another granola bar. This time I think I'll add a little peanut butter. SO GOOD! Ahhh...OK what else can I have...to the freezer I go...A frozen pizza! It's Mike's and he's saving it for a rainy day. Are you kidding me? I salve over this house and everything else in my life. I deserve this pizza! Preheating the over to 350...
Man, this is going to take forever! Look, hummus!! Hummus is so good for you so I'll just have some of that as an appetizer. I need something to dip it in though. Wheat thins sounds good. I need some cheese too. Oh, you know what would be so amazing with this? DUH! Some red wine! In to the living room I go...
I am half way done with my appetizer but my wine glass is empty! Better fill'er up! MMMMMMM that was DELICIOUS! I'm full. BEEP BEEP BEEP! Oh yeah! My Hawaiian Pizza! Heck yeah! This is going to be so good and I still have half a bottle of wine left to enjoy it with! Oh my gosh this is perfect...The Bachelor has a whole hour left! This really is the best moment of my day. I totally deserve this. I am a good mom and a good person in general. I love God and He is spoiling me right now! I needed some Liz Time, Yall! I'm happy. You know what would make this absolutely perfect? I'm going to text Mike and see if he will get me some sugar free dark chocolate. PERFECT NIGHT."
OK so you just saw an evening in the head of Liz Wetzler 8 weeks ago. I want to tell you something else though. I want to tell you how this "perfect night" ended.
Mike came home to find me slurring my words and telling him ALL about who the bachelor had chosen and who had the hottest bodies. He looked at me confused handing me the chocolate bar which HE thought was my only indulgence. I look at him and act like everything is so great. After my chocolate is all gone, I blurt out, "Oh yeah! Tonight was my cheat night (yeah right) and so I indulged on your pizza but I will replace it tomorrow so don't worry!! How was your work out? I'm going to the gym tomorrow after work! Have they fixed our key less entry cards yet??"
Mike slowly walks into the kitchen annoyed with me because I have obviously had one glass too many.
He says he loves me and he gets in the shower.
Alone. I sit. The bachelor is over. The food is gone. I don't feel good. I am so full and so tired. I know I have to get up in 8 hours. I get up to get some water and look up into the window at my reflection.
I'm looking at this person. Who is this person? Why is she ruining my life? Why does she turn me into a gorging sloth. Why did I do this. Then instead of letting the tear out hold it in and go to bed with a stomach so full of so much stuff.
I wake up 3 pounds heavier. I try to go to the gym but I am depressed. I go to work, I come home and clean up the kitchen from the night before. I play with my precious son, I start to feel productive. My child loves me. We go on a walk and play outside. He is so happy. We go inside and take a bath. He has his dinner and is ready for bed. I am exhausted but feel like I've been a great mom. The cycle begins again.
Looking back at this I can not believe how weak I was when it came to eating and my thoughts. I never thought I could get this under control. But, I have. I am eating 6 small meals a day every 2-3 hours. I am not buying ANY wine. I am enjoying an occasional 64 calorie beer a few nights a week. I am happy, I am healthy, I am living my life. Today I was 205 pounds. That is a grand total of 21 POUNDS GONE! I have dropped two sizes. I love my child and I will do anything for him. I am doing this for myself but he is reaping the benefits of having a truly happy mother.
Lastly, I ran the entire 3 miles at Mellow Milers last night. I could not BELIEVE IT!! We actually kept up with the crowd!
I am half way there and still need support, prayers, and encouragement. Having a life coach (Garland) has made all the difference. She helps me decide what to eat for my meals and she pushes me with my exercise. She is a gift from God. It is important to find someone to hold you accountable. We can not do this alone. We need each other!
Remember...Eat high protein healthy meals every 2-3 hours. Exercise. Drink water. Limit the booze. Limit the stress (Get massages or do yoga). AND PRAY! God wants to be included in everything you are passionate about. For 19 years I have been praying for God to help me with this. Sometimes he doesn't answer us as quickly as we want Him to, but he does answer us. He is faithful and He is here.
"Alone in the house. My child is tucked in his crib, safe and warm. My husband has just left for the gym and won't be home for 2 hours. My cat and dog have been fed and are snuggles up and satisfied. My dishes are done. I've taken my bath and even shaved my legs. My floors are clean and I had a great day in sales today. Oh, before I get to comfortable, I better start another load of laundry so I can really feel good about myself. I am so productive. I am such an amazing mom. I am an OK wife but I am learning and trying to do it better. I'm a great friend. Deep breath in.....Life feels good right now and I deserve some me time now. No one is around and I am free. I can do whatever I want. Everyone sucks me dry and I have nothing left to give. Why does everyone think they can walk all over me and chirp chirp chirp like a bunch of baby birds depending on ME for everything. I deserve to be pampered and loved on too! This hurts. I feel like the victim. I feel like I am not getting MY share of the fortune. ME ME ME! HA! I'll show them! Clunk clunk clunk I go into the kitchen. Hmmm...to start how about 2 strawberry Nutrigrain Bars and some 2% milk. Poof! It's gone. What else can I find in here...aw crap there is some Nestle Quick, I should have had that in my milk! Well, I still can, I'll just have another cereal bar. This time I'll have a chocolate chip granola bar. Oops, there's still some milk left and its so good with every bite so I should just have another granola bar. This time I think I'll add a little peanut butter. SO GOOD! Ahhh...OK what else can I have...to the freezer I go...A frozen pizza! It's Mike's and he's saving it for a rainy day. Are you kidding me? I salve over this house and everything else in my life. I deserve this pizza! Preheating the over to 350...
Man, this is going to take forever! Look, hummus!! Hummus is so good for you so I'll just have some of that as an appetizer. I need something to dip it in though. Wheat thins sounds good. I need some cheese too. Oh, you know what would be so amazing with this? DUH! Some red wine! In to the living room I go...
I am half way done with my appetizer but my wine glass is empty! Better fill'er up! MMMMMMM that was DELICIOUS! I'm full. BEEP BEEP BEEP! Oh yeah! My Hawaiian Pizza! Heck yeah! This is going to be so good and I still have half a bottle of wine left to enjoy it with! Oh my gosh this is perfect...The Bachelor has a whole hour left! This really is the best moment of my day. I totally deserve this. I am a good mom and a good person in general. I love God and He is spoiling me right now! I needed some Liz Time, Yall! I'm happy. You know what would make this absolutely perfect? I'm going to text Mike and see if he will get me some sugar free dark chocolate. PERFECT NIGHT."
OK so you just saw an evening in the head of Liz Wetzler 8 weeks ago. I want to tell you something else though. I want to tell you how this "perfect night" ended.
Mike came home to find me slurring my words and telling him ALL about who the bachelor had chosen and who had the hottest bodies. He looked at me confused handing me the chocolate bar which HE thought was my only indulgence. I look at him and act like everything is so great. After my chocolate is all gone, I blurt out, "Oh yeah! Tonight was my cheat night (yeah right) and so I indulged on your pizza but I will replace it tomorrow so don't worry!! How was your work out? I'm going to the gym tomorrow after work! Have they fixed our key less entry cards yet??"
Mike slowly walks into the kitchen annoyed with me because I have obviously had one glass too many.
He says he loves me and he gets in the shower.
Alone. I sit. The bachelor is over. The food is gone. I don't feel good. I am so full and so tired. I know I have to get up in 8 hours. I get up to get some water and look up into the window at my reflection.
I'm looking at this person. Who is this person? Why is she ruining my life? Why does she turn me into a gorging sloth. Why did I do this. Then instead of letting the tear out hold it in and go to bed with a stomach so full of so much stuff.
I wake up 3 pounds heavier. I try to go to the gym but I am depressed. I go to work, I come home and clean up the kitchen from the night before. I play with my precious son, I start to feel productive. My child loves me. We go on a walk and play outside. He is so happy. We go inside and take a bath. He has his dinner and is ready for bed. I am exhausted but feel like I've been a great mom. The cycle begins again.
Looking back at this I can not believe how weak I was when it came to eating and my thoughts. I never thought I could get this under control. But, I have. I am eating 6 small meals a day every 2-3 hours. I am not buying ANY wine. I am enjoying an occasional 64 calorie beer a few nights a week. I am happy, I am healthy, I am living my life. Today I was 205 pounds. That is a grand total of 21 POUNDS GONE! I have dropped two sizes. I love my child and I will do anything for him. I am doing this for myself but he is reaping the benefits of having a truly happy mother.
Lastly, I ran the entire 3 miles at Mellow Milers last night. I could not BELIEVE IT!! We actually kept up with the crowd!
I am half way there and still need support, prayers, and encouragement. Having a life coach (Garland) has made all the difference. She helps me decide what to eat for my meals and she pushes me with my exercise. She is a gift from God. It is important to find someone to hold you accountable. We can not do this alone. We need each other!
Remember...Eat high protein healthy meals every 2-3 hours. Exercise. Drink water. Limit the booze. Limit the stress (Get massages or do yoga). AND PRAY! God wants to be included in everything you are passionate about. For 19 years I have been praying for God to help me with this. Sometimes he doesn't answer us as quickly as we want Him to, but he does answer us. He is faithful and He is here.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Co-Existing with Food
Thinking back to the ways things were really blows my mind. I was so obsessed with trying NOT to think about food. Now, I look forward to the fact that I get to eat a small healthy meal every 2-3 hours.
I still don't feel like I trust myself 100%. I feel like I am going to fail and screw everything up. Why do I feel like this? I am down to 209. That is a total weight loss of 17 pounds!!! I am thrilled...but I keep hearing this evil voice in my head telling me that not only will I not succeed but that I will never keep it going in the maintenance phase.
I want this so bad! I want to be skinny! I want to wear "skinny pants" as Garland calls them. The are these hot, tight, black pants that all skinny people wear. I always am stuck in jeans and a cotton shirt. I refuse to spend $200 on a shirt when I am this overweight. Once I'm at my goal...well yeah, I still can't afford it but at least I can save up for some nice pretty clothes every once in a while!
I just want to feel NORMAL. Why do I think about food all the time? I wish I didn't need it but obviously we need it to survive so I must learn to co-exist!
Jane Ellen asked me today if I had a boob reduction. That was so awesome!!! My chest has gone from 47 to 42 inches!!!
Miranda called me today to tell me that she was driving over the bay and say my sister walking on the scenic route...BUT IT WAS ME!!!
People are noticing and I am'a LIKING!
I still don't feel like I trust myself 100%. I feel like I am going to fail and screw everything up. Why do I feel like this? I am down to 209. That is a total weight loss of 17 pounds!!! I am thrilled...but I keep hearing this evil voice in my head telling me that not only will I not succeed but that I will never keep it going in the maintenance phase.
I want this so bad! I want to be skinny! I want to wear "skinny pants" as Garland calls them. The are these hot, tight, black pants that all skinny people wear. I always am stuck in jeans and a cotton shirt. I refuse to spend $200 on a shirt when I am this overweight. Once I'm at my goal...well yeah, I still can't afford it but at least I can save up for some nice pretty clothes every once in a while!
I just want to feel NORMAL. Why do I think about food all the time? I wish I didn't need it but obviously we need it to survive so I must learn to co-exist!
Jane Ellen asked me today if I had a boob reduction. That was so awesome!!! My chest has gone from 47 to 42 inches!!!
Miranda called me today to tell me that she was driving over the bay and say my sister walking on the scenic route...BUT IT WAS ME!!!
People are noticing and I am'a LIKING!
Friday, October 14, 2011
MIX IT UP
I'm encouraged. So day was day one of me mixing up my diet. I haven't lost or gained a pound in 2 weeks. My body was getting quite use to expecting what it was getting...presumptuous little snot if you ask me. So today I threw a curve ball and I feel like I've dropped a whole pant size. I am not even kidding. This morning I had oatmeal (mixed with water, honey, some raisins and 5 sprays of fake butter.) Then for my mid morning snack instead of having a Kashi bar and peanut butter I had Greek Yogurt (plain) with almonds and craisens. For lunch I had 2 slices of whole wheat bread, Zoe's chicken salad, lettuce and 10 calorie honey mustard. I left off the cheese and left off a side! For my afternoon snack I had my usual 3 Melba toast crackers with 35 calorie Laughing Cow Cheese. For dinner I had a salad trio: a table spoon of humus, a table spoon of pimento cheese, a table spoon of chicken salad and a whole raw red bell pepper. (all three of those salads were from Zoe's so very healthy!!) Then for a snack I had a table spoon of chicken salad and a table spoon of pimento. Now I am sipping a vodka water and lime...NOT WINE! My PJ's are so baggy! I've heard that once you plateau you should mix your diet and work out up and then your body will drop 10-20 more pounds FAST! I swear I feel like 2 pounds have shredded off today. BUT I won't really know until Thursday because I have finally given up on weighing every day. It just depresses me and makes eating light VERY painful. Ignorance is bliss! I don't want to know. Only time will tell.
SO JOIN ME AND MIX IT UP!!!
SO JOIN ME AND MIX IT UP!!!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Brain Freeze
For two weeks now I have stayed at the same weight. I am still 212. It is so hard not to get down or frustrated. Thoughts like, "Well I might as well eat whatever I want if I'm not even going to lose anything!" I knew it would get hard but I am really struggling right now. I am hungry. I want to eat. I want to enjoy sweets and other forbidden fruits. But I don't want them to really be fruit. Just forbidden anything besides fruits. I know this is a bad attitude and I feel ashamed for having it but that is one thing you can not control...your thoughts. You can pray that they will go away, but you can't really avoid a thought that pops into your head.
I'm HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Am I really going to ddo this? Am I really going to succeed? I really want to...but how bad to I want it? How far am I willing to go? I miss drinking wine and eating a lot. I feel like my head is out of the game. I want to get back in it! Thank the Lord I still have Garland who is really holding me accountable and watching my every move. I have stayed on track and I am REALLY trying to do this. I am busting my butt at the gym. I am doing everything...except I may be a little off on my porion sizes. Deep breath...I don't know. I am not giving up but I need prayer. I need to focus on the prize and not lose heart! I want this. Please pray for me...that is all I need right now.
Real quick...
In 5 weeks:
My chest has gone from 46 inches to 42!!! (4 inches)
My waist has gone from 36 1/2 inches to 34 1/2!!! (2 inches)
My hips have gone from 47 inches to 44 1/2!!! (2 1/2 inches)
I have lost 8 1/2 inches total! That is really encouraging.
My weight started at 226
Today I am 212
Total weight loss: 14 pounds
NOT BAD!
I am tired and going to bed now. Sweet dreams...but without the sweets!
I'm HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Am I really going to ddo this? Am I really going to succeed? I really want to...but how bad to I want it? How far am I willing to go? I miss drinking wine and eating a lot. I feel like my head is out of the game. I want to get back in it! Thank the Lord I still have Garland who is really holding me accountable and watching my every move. I have stayed on track and I am REALLY trying to do this. I am busting my butt at the gym. I am doing everything...except I may be a little off on my porion sizes. Deep breath...I don't know. I am not giving up but I need prayer. I need to focus on the prize and not lose heart! I want this. Please pray for me...that is all I need right now.
Real quick...
In 5 weeks:
My chest has gone from 46 inches to 42!!! (4 inches)
My waist has gone from 36 1/2 inches to 34 1/2!!! (2 inches)
My hips have gone from 47 inches to 44 1/2!!! (2 1/2 inches)
I have lost 8 1/2 inches total! That is really encouraging.
My weight started at 226
Today I am 212
Total weight loss: 14 pounds
NOT BAD!
I am tired and going to bed now. Sweet dreams...but without the sweets!
Monday, October 3, 2011
"The Body Contortionist"
This is me on a night out on the town with Virginia and Mike. I am 212 pounds here. My goal is 150 lbs. I'm a a little confused because I don't really think I look 62 pounds over weight. Maybe it's just a slimming outfit. I have always been able to contort my body and face to look good in pictures so maybe that is it. That is another reason it has been hard for me to stay on track with losing weight...I get cocky and think, "Oh, I look fine...I'm just big boned." I will reevaluate once I hit 170...that may be a better goal weight for me. We shall see!! Fun night though! I felt great about myself for the first time in a long time.
Choosing Tears Over Food
Rejection is a tough pill to swallow. The feeling of being left out, ignored, or even punished by another individual by not including you can really hurt. It can leave you stranded with your thoughts...thoughts of self-doubt. It is important for us as humans to understand that it is OK to not be loved by everyone. It is OK to sometimes be left off the invitation list or left out of the conversation even when you are standing right there.
As a bubbly, outgoing, and loving person it is hard for me to accept this but like I am learning to accept this new way of living, I must learn to accept this about my community. Relationships are my passion. I give it 110% and sometimes it backfires. I have nurtured and grown several incredible relationships, I've also damaged and even destroyed other ones. We live and we learn. I have learned so much about how to handle things.
I know one thing, I can not save people. I can not protect people. And most importantly, I can not judge people. I can only love people and move forward with my own life, family and decisions. I have decided over this past weekend to let go and move forward. I can not dwell on broken bridges any longer. I have given it up to God and I am healed. I am repaired and I am strong. I am grateful for the people in my life that love me and care for me. I am not going to give into food to numb the pain any more. Instead, I am dealing with that pain and meeting those salty tears. As they sting down the sides of my face, I take comfort in knowing that the aftermath WILL feel better. In allowing myself to cry to a friend or cry to my mom or cry to my sister or cry to my dad or cry to my husband, I am choosing to feel pain and deal with my feelings rather than ignore them by stuffing food in my face.
Yep, that is what I have done my whole life. The second things go sour, I pull out the sweets. In doing this I am temporarily high on food and feeling great. After the binge I can only focus on the disgust of my actions which leads to depression and feeling like a fat failure...meanwhile I've forgotten all about who ever hurt me. I've always done this and people have always told me, "Gosh Liz, you are so strong. How do you stay so strong?" HA! Yeah, a strong fat a**. I was just praying they didn't see the brownies in my teeth while showering me with compliments.
Now this new Liz is a bit more high maintenance. I am little more emotional. I am a little more in touch with my feelings. I am a lot slower in regards to my actions after something hurts. I am staying calm. Then like a ton of bricks...I'm shot right in the chest with pain. But guess what? I'm shedding pounds, and I'm becoming a stronger and more serious person. My thighs are getting thin, but my skin is getting thick.
As a bubbly, outgoing, and loving person it is hard for me to accept this but like I am learning to accept this new way of living, I must learn to accept this about my community. Relationships are my passion. I give it 110% and sometimes it backfires. I have nurtured and grown several incredible relationships, I've also damaged and even destroyed other ones. We live and we learn. I have learned so much about how to handle things.
I know one thing, I can not save people. I can not protect people. And most importantly, I can not judge people. I can only love people and move forward with my own life, family and decisions. I have decided over this past weekend to let go and move forward. I can not dwell on broken bridges any longer. I have given it up to God and I am healed. I am repaired and I am strong. I am grateful for the people in my life that love me and care for me. I am not going to give into food to numb the pain any more. Instead, I am dealing with that pain and meeting those salty tears. As they sting down the sides of my face, I take comfort in knowing that the aftermath WILL feel better. In allowing myself to cry to a friend or cry to my mom or cry to my sister or cry to my dad or cry to my husband, I am choosing to feel pain and deal with my feelings rather than ignore them by stuffing food in my face.
Yep, that is what I have done my whole life. The second things go sour, I pull out the sweets. In doing this I am temporarily high on food and feeling great. After the binge I can only focus on the disgust of my actions which leads to depression and feeling like a fat failure...meanwhile I've forgotten all about who ever hurt me. I've always done this and people have always told me, "Gosh Liz, you are so strong. How do you stay so strong?" HA! Yeah, a strong fat a**. I was just praying they didn't see the brownies in my teeth while showering me with compliments.
Now this new Liz is a bit more high maintenance. I am little more emotional. I am a little more in touch with my feelings. I am a lot slower in regards to my actions after something hurts. I am staying calm. Then like a ton of bricks...I'm shot right in the chest with pain. But guess what? I'm shedding pounds, and I'm becoming a stronger and more serious person. My thighs are getting thin, but my skin is getting thick.
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